Neil's drunken banter (to himself)

Neil · Post by **Neil** » 3/22/2009, 2:35 am

Dancer next door? Wtf program is this...

*begins to watch*

Neil · Post by **Neil** » 3/22/2009, 2:36 am

Laurel. You're uber-hot. Landon's a lucky douche.

If he touches another woman when he moves to Toronto. Or Norway. Or Zimbabwe. Or wherever the heck he's going.

I'll kill him for you.

Wait. He can touch as long as he paid first. Right?

Neil · Post by **Neil** » 3/22/2009, 2:36 am

Run away. Make haste. To get laid! To get laid!

I jacked that from Medicate by Breaking Ben.

Neil · Post by **Neil** » 3/22/2009, 2:38 am

Do I ever cross your miiiiind... anytime?

Do you ever wake up reaching out for me?

Neil · Post by **Neil** » 3/22/2009, 2:39 am

Miley Cyrus needs to get the 'eff off tv. For real. I'm sick of looking at her.

Neil · Post by **Neil** » 3/22/2009, 2:40 am

Fact: If you look at me close enough... I'm pretty sure my nose is not straight. I got sucker punched. My senior year of high school. Breaking up a girl fight.

I heard the dude that punched me went to jail. Serves him right. Fucker.

Neil · Post by **Neil** » 3/22/2009, 2:41 am

If I bowl at least a 230 next weekend... will one of the CM girls send me a topless photo?

Neil · Post by **Neil** » 3/22/2009, 2:42 am

Hi Laurel. And Landon. I heart you two!

I'd make a gay ass heart with my hands right now. Just for you two. But I just can't bring myself to do it.

Wait. I apologize for using the g-word. I saw the motivational commercial on TV today. That's a bad word to use inappropriately.

Oh. And Laurel. For being drunky I think I'm spelling pretty good. Soooo... yeah. I'll stop there. Cuz you rock.

Neil · Post by **Neil** » 3/22/2009, 2:44 am

How many CM'ers are afraid to take a poo anywhere other than home? Inquring minds want to know.

Neil · Post by **Neil** » 3/22/2009, 2:45 am

When I'm a walkin... I strut my stufffff. And I'm so strung out. I'm high as a kite. I just might. Have to check you out!

Neil · Post by **Neil** » 3/22/2009, 2:45 am

That John Denver is fulla shit.

Neil · Post by **Neil** » 3/22/2009, 2:46 am

November 5th. 1955.

The date Dr. Emmitt Brown invented time travel.

Neil · Post by **Neil** » 3/22/2009, 2:47 am

I'm eating Cheddar and Sour Cream Ruffles. O. M. G. Orgasm.

Neil · Post by **Neil** » 3/22/2009, 2:48 am

I'm excited to be a dad. I wanna make a baby!

Neil · Post by **Neil** » 3/22/2009, 2:49 am

Wow. My gas smells like the great depression. Wtf does the great depression really smell like? Ass? Rotten eggs? A mix of rotten eggs and my breath?

Speaking of which... I need to find that dog!

Neil · Post by **Neil** » 3/22/2009, 2:50 am

I miss Cass!!!!

Neil · Post by **Neil** » 3/22/2009, 2:51 am

I love my mom. Kinda more than my dad. Is that bad?

Neil · Post by **Neil** » 3/22/2009, 2:52 am

I should really go visit my deceased grandparents' grave site. Maybe tomorrow! I haven't visited there since the day I got back to Minnesota.

I sat there and cried. Apologizing to my grandpa for not being here when he passed.

Neil · Post by **Neil** » 3/22/2009, 2:53 am

OMG! I just pulled a hair from my ear. That takes fucked up to a whole new level.

Neil · Post by **Neil** » 3/22/2009, 2:53 am

Mixed drink numero dos! Dos? Dos? Ok typing it more than once doesn't make it look right or wrong.

ClumsyMonkey.net

ClumsyMonkey.net

Neil's drunken banter (to himself)