first:
damn topic length limit.. i cant fit NEWS OF THE DAY in there
anyways
so the topic subject is relatively self-explanatory
i shall post various stories on a relatively daily basis that i deem to be worthy based on a complex series of algorithms that i cant release because then i'd have to go on a mass murdering spree.
so
anyways
todays installment:
dead dude send funny christmas cards:
ASHLAND, Ore. - Even in death, Chet Fitch is a card.
Fitch, known for his sense of humour, died in October at age 88 but gave his friends and family a start recently: Christmas cards, 34 of them, began arriving - written in his hand with a return address of "Heaven."
The greeting read: "I asked Big Guy if I could sneak back and send some cards. At first he said no; but at my insistence he finally said, 'Oh well, what the heaven, go ahead but don't (tarry) there.' Wish I could tell you about things here but words cannot explain.
"Better get back as Big Guy said he stretched a point to let me in the first time, so I had better not press my luck. I'll probably be seeing you (some sooner than you think). Wishing you a very Merry Christmas. Chet Fitch"
A friend for nearly 25 years, Debbie Hansen Bernard said, "All I could think was, 'You little stinker.' "
"It was amazing," she said. "Just so Chet, always wanting to get the last laugh."
The mailing was a joke Fitch worked on for two decades with his barber, Patty Dean, 57. She told the Ashland Daily Tidings this week that he kept updating the mailing list and giving her extra money when postal rates went up. This fall, she said, Fitch looked up to her from the chair.
"You must be getting tired of waiting to mail those cards," he told her. "I think you'll probably be able to mail them this year."
He died a week later.
Sand's somtimes pointless, humourous or just awesome NoTD
Sand's somtimes pointless, humourous or just awesome NoTD
go fuck yourself.
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myownsatellite
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- Location: MA, USA
- Contact:
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AnnieDreams
- Posts: 4029
- Joined: 8/16/2003, 12:08 pm
- Location: St. John's, Newfoundland
Eat more fudge: prizes inside.
LAFAYETTE, Ind. - An Indiana woman whose diamond ring vanished while she was making fudge for a bake sale was despondent after scouring her home and finding no sign of it.
But Linda Vancel recently got a sweet surprise - a relative of the woman who bought the fudge found the ring when he bit into a piece of the candy.
Vancel said the white gold ring had sentimental value because it had belonged to her late mother, who wore it for 50 years before passing it on to her.
Linda Rhoades bought the fudge during a bake sale in West Lafayette. She took some of it to her sister-in-law's father, in hopes of cheering him up after recent health problems. When Charles Matson snacked on a piece of the fudge, he bit into something hard - the ring.
As soon as she got back from vacation, Rhoades got in contact with Vancel and returned the ring.
An appreciative Vancel said: "It renews your faith in people. Sometimes there's so much negative in the world, to hear a story like this is reassuring."
LAFAYETTE, Ind. - An Indiana woman whose diamond ring vanished while she was making fudge for a bake sale was despondent after scouring her home and finding no sign of it.
But Linda Vancel recently got a sweet surprise - a relative of the woman who bought the fudge found the ring when he bit into a piece of the candy.
Vancel said the white gold ring had sentimental value because it had belonged to her late mother, who wore it for 50 years before passing it on to her.
Linda Rhoades bought the fudge during a bake sale in West Lafayette. She took some of it to her sister-in-law's father, in hopes of cheering him up after recent health problems. When Charles Matson snacked on a piece of the fudge, he bit into something hard - the ring.
As soon as she got back from vacation, Rhoades got in contact with Vancel and returned the ring.
An appreciative Vancel said: "It renews your faith in people. Sometimes there's so much negative in the world, to hear a story like this is reassuring."
go fuck yourself.
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myownsatellite
- Posts: 5049
- Joined: 10/20/2005, 9:20 pm
- Location: MA, USA
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GPS - Global Positioning System or Getting People Squished? you decide:
BEDFORD HILLS, New York - A Global Positioning System can tell a driver a lot of things - but not when a train is coming.
A computer consultant driving a rental car drove onto train tracks Wednesday using the instructions his GPS unit gave him.
A train was barrelling toward him, but he escaped in time and no one was injured.
The driver had turned right, as the system advised, and the car somehow got stuck on the tracks at the crossing.
Metro-North railroad spokesman Dan Brucker says the man jumped out, tried to warn the engineer by waving and managed to get out of the way just before the train slammed into the car at about 100 kilometres per hour.
The car was pushed more than 30 metres during the fiery crash and some 500 train passengers were stranded for more than two hours during the Wednesday evening rush hour.
BEDFORD HILLS, New York - A Global Positioning System can tell a driver a lot of things - but not when a train is coming.
A computer consultant driving a rental car drove onto train tracks Wednesday using the instructions his GPS unit gave him.
A train was barrelling toward him, but he escaped in time and no one was injured.
The driver had turned right, as the system advised, and the car somehow got stuck on the tracks at the crossing.
Metro-North railroad spokesman Dan Brucker says the man jumped out, tried to warn the engineer by waving and managed to get out of the way just before the train slammed into the car at about 100 kilometres per hour.
The car was pushed more than 30 metres during the fiery crash and some 500 train passengers were stranded for more than two hours during the Wednesday evening rush hour.
go fuck yourself.
school - 1, industrial glue - pwned.
MEXICO CITY - A 10-year-old Mexican boy dreaded returning to school after Christmas break so much he glued his hand to his bed.
Sandra Palacios spent nearly two hours Monday morning trying to free her son Diego's hand with water, oil and nail polish remover before calling authorities, police chief Jorge Camacho said outside the northern city Monterrey.
"I didn't want to go to school because vacation was so much fun," Reforma newspaper quoted the boy saying.
Palacios said Diego sneaked into the kitchen in the early morning to get the industrial glue, which he then slathered on his right hand. She didn't hear him get up but later awoke and found him watching TV with his hand stuck to the bed, she told Mexican newspaper El Universal.
"I don't know why he did it," she told Reforma.
"He's a good boy but mischievous like all kids."
Diego's hand was fine and paramedics managed to unstick him in time for class.
MEXICO CITY - A 10-year-old Mexican boy dreaded returning to school after Christmas break so much he glued his hand to his bed.
Sandra Palacios spent nearly two hours Monday morning trying to free her son Diego's hand with water, oil and nail polish remover before calling authorities, police chief Jorge Camacho said outside the northern city Monterrey.
"I didn't want to go to school because vacation was so much fun," Reforma newspaper quoted the boy saying.
Palacios said Diego sneaked into the kitchen in the early morning to get the industrial glue, which he then slathered on his right hand. She didn't hear him get up but later awoke and found him watching TV with his hand stuck to the bed, she told Mexican newspaper El Universal.
"I don't know why he did it," she told Reforma.
"He's a good boy but mischievous like all kids."
Diego's hand was fine and paramedics managed to unstick him in time for class.
go fuck yourself.
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beautiful liar
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