ClumsyMonkey.net

put on a happy face so people can't see the real me. Anyone else do that?

Every damned day.

I don't cope with my life too well.

I either smoke or listen to music to ignore the voices in my head that tell me to be depressed. I have to be in constant motion for me to ignore problems that really can't be fixed. It's what I do.

The only person I can rely on is Bethany, that is, when she's not busy with class, work, Rob, or having her own problems, which is understandable. I never have anyone around for me, and really, it sucks. Whenever I date someone, I try to put my faith in her that she will be there to talk to me, and when she isn't, I get let down, and usually, the person yells at me. I mean, I listen to their problems, I help them out, but it usually never is reciprocated. Only Stephanie was good with listening to me, and yeah, that turned out well. Heh.

I dunno, I guess I just want someone to listen to me. All my girlfriends just become extremely sexual situations, which I usually don't have a problem with, but tonight, I dunno, I just don't feel good about myself. I just want someone to talk to once in a while.

i get my brain electrocuted
well i did heh

im more than likely gonna end up on mild drugs
but in general doing something to completely take my mind off everything works great
music.. hockey.. alcohol.. spending time with saman.. whatever it takes

I just enjoy life and don't stress out about anything. There's no reason to. No matter how bad things seem, they'll always get better. It's best just to sit back, relax, have fun, and let life happen.

i use my friends and alcohol (every now and then) to escape life, but in th ened i don't think i really deal with my problems

Ps i'm drunk so please excuse any mistakes

I use music as my escape.

wow i'm pretty depressed right now....

Mechanical Thought wrote:I don't think I've really mastered the art of coping with life. It's just become so hard that I take things and push them aside, until there is no room and I end up crying my eyes out. Sure, I feel better, but it doesn't really solve anything, I suppose. I always feel like I'm taking on the world alone, but I've learned to suck it up and just take it. I don't like letting people know how I feel because I don't like attention.
I go through the same cycle all the time.

sigh. i do the exact same thing. i have been really depressed these past couple of weeks, and i just push those feeling deep inside and i just feel like one day i am going to explode and have a huge breakdown.

well, to cope with life, I do a few hits of acid a day. That helps greatly



In all honestly, I am pretty sure that I am depressed, although I did not seek medical advice for it though. Actually now that I think about it more, I am pretty messed up right now and I absolutely loathe myself for being this way. I am seriously un happy right now.


The only was I cope with life is by playing guitar. I sit back and close my eyes and I let my imagination go into overdrive and take me away. I imagine playing in front of a hot crowd all cheering for me. I imagine people looking up in awe while they watche me on stage. Rooting for me, cheering for me.


Playing guitar keeps me sane, if I didnt have it, I would be in a mental instituation.

There's so much shit going on in my head, that sometimes it's hard to cope with it all...

but the main things that take my mind off of (mostly) everything are music and my friends. Music because it takes me away and i can just close my eyes and fall away and feel like it's all gonna be okay (wow did that rhyme? ) And my friends because just being with them and laughing my ass off... and making people laugh is something i pride myself in, and its arguably one of the best feelings in the world -- especially when you can laugh at yourself as well

But some things you can't escape... like brain tumors and needles...

but i hardly ever cry... ever... as unhealthy as that may be... but sometimes that helps too, just holding it all in and knowing that hiding it away is actually possible... it's comforting...

...i think i'm done now... good thread idea though

Like many of you have said, I have abused alcohol to make me forget and just let go. It works ... but only for a short period of time.

Last night, I tried to cover up my anxiety by laughing like I had mentioned, and I ended up crying my eyes out for 3 hours. It always happens and I know it ... but the cycle that is my life continues and it won't stop. I'm developing insomnia too, I hardly get any sleep anymore.

Cass wrote:

put on a happy face so people can't see the real me. Anyone else do that?

Every damned day.

That makes three of us.

(sorry for the double post)

The truth is, I don't really deal. I have a lot of shit going on in my life that I absolutely hate dealing with and so to cope, I shove all my emotions and feelings into a little bottle and close it off. Works well so far!!! ...well thats not true at all. But I hate the idea of being dependant on others for anything, so I close off most relationships. I read books but I find that any issue I read about is so fictional and fake that I can't take it. Their solutions are as unrealistic as their conflicts so I can't stand reading most books that try to stay in reality. Music helps a lot like other people have said. Why do you think I am here on the OLP board? I mostly I keep to myself and my headphones when I have issues to deal with. I try to write as much as possible which it very theriputic, but the problems don't go away once they are all on paper. Which brings me back to my bottle that I shove things in.

I really should do something about it...

Random Name wrote: But I hate the idea of being dependant on others for anything, so I close off most relationships.

Same goes for me. I can't really let anyone inside, or know how I'm feeling because I'm afraid I'll get hurt.

Mechanical Thought wrote:

Random Name wrote: But I hate the idea of being dependant on others for anything, so I close off most relationships.

Same goes for me. I can't really let anyone inside, or know how I'm feeling because I'm afraid I'll get hurt.

So true,Caitlin. I feel the same way .

Agreed. If you let someone in on how you feel, you can be sure they will stomp on your heart. The only person I feel like I can tell that kind of stuff to is my mom, but she has so much shit to deal with, I really don't want to add to her problems, ya know?

I do, actually. The only person I really have to confide in is one of my friends, and she's been through so much already, that I don't want to burden her, or bring up old wounds.

I don't have a hell of a lot to deal with, other than those goddamn jerks at school. I fucking wish I had a gun.. Target practice!

...Ahem... Anyway.. Music, mainly, for obvious reasons, same as everyone else. Video games are another one. I can be strong, fast, and damn cool looking in a video game. Writing. I can make up any damned thing I want. I love it. And Roleplaying. Chat based, mainly. I like how anonymous you can be. Nobody has to know who the person at the keys is. All they know is their character is a lvl 16 Fighter who can deal 1000 freakin' damage a round. Maybe a slight exaggeration there, but it's all good.

I can't talk to people about stuff. I feel stupid talking to them about regular everyday stuff, so I'd never be able to just dump out what I'm feeling in a face-to-face situation.

I love the internet.

Just for my own satisfaction, I'll say what I do:

1) Listen to music...non-stop.
2) Write poetry that no one really seems to like.
3) Play the tenor sax, though my oboe also tends to make me feel better. I don't have that type of a bond yet with my guitar, probably because I still suck ass at it.
4) Read.
5) May sound stupid, but I'm doing this thing now where I concentrate all of my sadness into a ring I wear around my neck. It can work sometimes.

see, that's why i decided to talk to somebody about my problems. Because they weren't going away, and I felt like I was overburdening rob, alan, alex, and everybody else who listens to my problems.

and it's good to talk to somebody who is completely unbiased. Somebody who doesn't know your friends or your family or anybody, except you.

I highly stress that people take advantage of their counseling service if they go to college or university. It's free, and you have nothing to lose.