put on a happy face so people can't see the real me. Anyone else do that?
Every damned day.
How do you cope with your life?
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Henrietta
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Sufjan Stevens
- Posts: 6738
- Joined: 3/17/2002, 12:25 pm
- Location: Detroit, MI
I don't cope with my life too well.
I either smoke or listen to music to ignore the voices in my head that tell me to be depressed. I have to be in constant motion for me to ignore problems that really can't be fixed. It's what I do.
The only person I can rely on is Bethany, that is, when she's not busy with class, work, Rob, or having her own problems, which is understandable. I never have anyone around for me, and really, it sucks. Whenever I date someone, I try to put my faith in her that she will be there to talk to me, and when she isn't, I get let down, and usually, the person yells at me. I mean, I listen to their problems, I help them out, but it usually never is reciprocated. Only Stephanie was good with listening to me, and yeah, that turned out well. Heh.
I dunno, I guess I just want someone to listen to me. All my girlfriends just become extremely sexual situations, which I usually don't have a problem with, but tonight, I dunno, I just don't feel good about myself. I just want someone to talk to once in a while.
I either smoke or listen to music to ignore the voices in my head that tell me to be depressed. I have to be in constant motion for me to ignore problems that really can't be fixed. It's what I do.
The only person I can rely on is Bethany, that is, when she's not busy with class, work, Rob, or having her own problems, which is understandable. I never have anyone around for me, and really, it sucks. Whenever I date someone, I try to put my faith in her that she will be there to talk to me, and when she isn't, I get let down, and usually, the person yells at me. I mean, I listen to their problems, I help them out, but it usually never is reciprocated. Only Stephanie was good with listening to me, and yeah, that turned out well. Heh.
I dunno, I guess I just want someone to listen to me. All my girlfriends just become extremely sexual situations, which I usually don't have a problem with, but tonight, I dunno, I just don't feel good about myself. I just want someone to talk to once in a while.
I faced death. I went in with my arms swinging. But I heard my own breath and had to face that I'm still living. I'm still flesh. I hold on to awful feelings. I'm not dead... My chest still draws breath. I hold it. I'm buoyant. There's no end.
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nikki4982
- Posts: 30273
- Joined: 11/14/2002, 11:34 pm
- Location: Collingswood, New Jersey, USA
- Contact:
I just enjoy life and don't stress out about anything. There's no reason to. No matter how bad things seem, they'll always get better. It's best just to sit back, relax, have fun, and let life happen.
<table><tr><td>~ Nikki Edwards
Queen of the Harpies <img src="../phpBB2/files/queen_of_harpies.gif" align="texttop"></td><td><font color="orange">President of the Pookie Brigade</font>
"If you put those on the internet, I'll kill you guys!" - Jer</td></tr></table>
<center><img src="../phpBB2/files/squiggle.gif">
<font color="#3C8C8B">Imagine there's no heaven, it's easy if you try, no hell below us,
above us only sky, imagine all the people, <font color="#FFFFFF">living</font> for today...</font>
<font color="#50B4B3">Imagine there's no countries, it isn't hard to do, nothing to kill or die
for, no religion too, imagine all the people, living <font color="#FFFFFF">life</font> in peace...</font>
<font color="#89CDCC">Imagine no possesions, I wonder if you can, no need for greed or <font color="#FFFFFF">hunger</font>,
a brotherhood of man, imagine all the people, sharing all the <font color="#FFFFFF">world</font>...</font>
<font color="#B1DFDE">You may say I'm a <font color="#FFFFFF">dreamer</font>, but I'm not the only one, I hope
some day you'll join us, and the world will <font color="#FFFFFF">live</font> as one.</font></center></font>
Queen of the Harpies <img src="../phpBB2/files/queen_of_harpies.gif" align="texttop"></td><td><font color="orange">President of the Pookie Brigade</font>
"If you put those on the internet, I'll kill you guys!" - Jer</td></tr></table>
<center><img src="../phpBB2/files/squiggle.gif">
<font color="#3C8C8B">Imagine there's no heaven, it's easy if you try, no hell below us,
above us only sky, imagine all the people, <font color="#FFFFFF">living</font> for today...</font>
<font color="#50B4B3">Imagine there's no countries, it isn't hard to do, nothing to kill or die
for, no religion too, imagine all the people, living <font color="#FFFFFF">life</font> in peace...</font>
<font color="#89CDCC">Imagine no possesions, I wonder if you can, no need for greed or <font color="#FFFFFF">hunger</font>,
a brotherhood of man, imagine all the people, sharing all the <font color="#FFFFFF">world</font>...</font>
<font color="#B1DFDE">You may say I'm a <font color="#FFFFFF">dreamer</font>, but I'm not the only one, I hope
some day you'll join us, and the world will <font color="#FFFFFF">live</font> as one.</font></center></font>
i use my friends and alcohol (every now and then) to escape life, but in th ened i don't think i really deal with my problems
Ps i'm drunk so please excuse any mistakes
Ps i'm drunk so please excuse any mistakes
"How can we justify spending so much on destruction and so little on life?" Matthew Good
"The white dove is gone, the one world has come down hard, so why not share the pain of our problems, when all around are wrong ways, when all around is hurt, i'll roll up in an odd shape and wait, untill the tide has turned.....with anger, i'm dead weight, i'm anchored"- IME, God Rocket (Into the Heart of Las Vegas) ^ Some say this song is about a terrorists thoughts before 911
"Pray for the sheep" Matt Good
"But it's alright, take the world and make it yours again" Matt Good
I felt it in the wind, and i saw it in the sky, i thought it was the end, i thought it was the 4th of July.
"Hold on, hold on children, your mother and father are leaving, hold on, hold on children your best freind's parents are leaving, leaving,.......*AHHH*! " - Death From Above - Black History Month
"The white dove is gone, the one world has come down hard, so why not share the pain of our problems, when all around are wrong ways, when all around is hurt, i'll roll up in an odd shape and wait, untill the tide has turned.....with anger, i'm dead weight, i'm anchored"- IME, God Rocket (Into the Heart of Las Vegas) ^ Some say this song is about a terrorists thoughts before 911
"Pray for the sheep" Matt Good
"But it's alright, take the world and make it yours again" Matt Good
I felt it in the wind, and i saw it in the sky, i thought it was the end, i thought it was the 4th of July.
"Hold on, hold on children, your mother and father are leaving, hold on, hold on children your best freind's parents are leaving, leaving,.......*AHHH*! " - Death From Above - Black History Month
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xoNoDoubt69
- Posts: 15117
- Joined: 11/26/2002, 7:35 am
- Location: new jersey
- Contact:
wow i'm pretty depressed right now....
"How can we justify spending so much on destruction and so little on life?" Matthew Good
"The white dove is gone, the one world has come down hard, so why not share the pain of our problems, when all around are wrong ways, when all around is hurt, i'll roll up in an odd shape and wait, untill the tide has turned.....with anger, i'm dead weight, i'm anchored"- IME, God Rocket (Into the Heart of Las Vegas) ^ Some say this song is about a terrorists thoughts before 911
"Pray for the sheep" Matt Good
"But it's alright, take the world and make it yours again" Matt Good
I felt it in the wind, and i saw it in the sky, i thought it was the end, i thought it was the 4th of July.
"Hold on, hold on children, your mother and father are leaving, hold on, hold on children your best freind's parents are leaving, leaving,.......*AHHH*! " - Death From Above - Black History Month
"The white dove is gone, the one world has come down hard, so why not share the pain of our problems, when all around are wrong ways, when all around is hurt, i'll roll up in an odd shape and wait, untill the tide has turned.....with anger, i'm dead weight, i'm anchored"- IME, God Rocket (Into the Heart of Las Vegas) ^ Some say this song is about a terrorists thoughts before 911
"Pray for the sheep" Matt Good
"But it's alright, take the world and make it yours again" Matt Good
I felt it in the wind, and i saw it in the sky, i thought it was the end, i thought it was the 4th of July.
"Hold on, hold on children, your mother and father are leaving, hold on, hold on children your best freind's parents are leaving, leaving,.......*AHHH*! " - Death From Above - Black History Month
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superrgirll
- Posts: 11216
- Joined: 3/13/2002, 10:59 pm
- Location: toronto
- Contact:
Mechanical Thought wrote:I don't think I've really mastered the art of coping with life. It's just become so hard that I take things and push them aside, until there is no room and I end up crying my eyes out. Sure, I feel better, but it doesn't really solve anything, I suppose. I always feel like I'm taking on the world alone, but I've learned to suck it up and just take it. I don't like letting people know how I feel because I don't like attention.
I go through the same cycle all the time.
sigh. i do the exact same thing. i have been really depressed these past couple of weeks, and i just push those feeling deep inside and i just feel like one day i am going to explode and have a huge breakdown.
-lori
she's a fool for the last living rock king
http://www.livejournal.com/~got_to_get_away/
HARDCORE!
she's a fool for the last living rock king
http://www.livejournal.com/~got_to_get_away/
HARDCORE!
well, to cope with life, I do a few hits of acid a day. That helps greatly 
In all honestly, I am pretty sure that I am depressed, although I did not seek medical advice for it though. Actually now that I think about it more, I am pretty messed up right now and I absolutely loathe myself for being this way. I am seriously un happy right now.
The only was I cope with life is by playing guitar. I sit back and close my eyes and I let my imagination go into overdrive and take me away. I imagine playing in front of a hot crowd all cheering for me. I imagine people looking up in awe while they watche me on stage. Rooting for me, cheering for me.
Playing guitar keeps me sane, if I didnt have it, I would be in a mental instituation.
In all honestly, I am pretty sure that I am depressed, although I did not seek medical advice for it though. Actually now that I think about it more, I am pretty messed up right now and I absolutely loathe myself for being this way. I am seriously un happy right now.
The only was I cope with life is by playing guitar. I sit back and close my eyes and I let my imagination go into overdrive and take me away. I imagine playing in front of a hot crowd all cheering for me. I imagine people looking up in awe while they watche me on stage. Rooting for me, cheering for me.
Playing guitar keeps me sane, if I didnt have it, I would be in a mental instituation.
Last edited by Johnny on 10/25/2003, 12:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Professional Canadian.
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x.Silver.x
- Posts: 87
- Joined: 4/7/2003, 4:04 pm
- Location: Ontario, Canada
There's so much shit going on in my head, that sometimes it's hard to cope with it all...
but the main things that take my mind off of (mostly) everything are music and my friends. Music because it takes me away and i can just close my eyes and fall away and feel like it's all gonna be okay (wow did that rhyme?
) And my friends because just being with them and laughing my ass off... and making people laugh is something i pride myself in, and its arguably one of the best feelings in the world -- especially when you can laugh at yourself as well
But some things you can't escape... like brain tumors and needles...
but i hardly ever cry... ever... as unhealthy as that may be... but sometimes that helps too, just holding it all in and knowing that hiding it away is actually possible... it's comforting...
...i think i'm done now... good thread idea though
but the main things that take my mind off of (mostly) everything are music and my friends. Music because it takes me away and i can just close my eyes and fall away and feel like it's all gonna be okay (wow did that rhyme?
) And my friends because just being with them and laughing my ass off... and making people laugh is something i pride myself in, and its arguably one of the best feelings in the world -- especially when you can laugh at yourself as well
But some things you can't escape... like brain tumors and needles...
but i hardly ever cry... ever... as unhealthy as that may be... but sometimes that helps too, just holding it all in and knowing that hiding it away is actually possible... it's comforting...
...i think i'm done now... good thread idea though
||-[glow=red]ChRiSsY[/glow]-||
[glow=white].:Nothing Lasts Forever:.[/glow]
>>Hand In Hand We Walk Blind<<
[glow=white].:Nothing Lasts Forever:.[/glow]
>>Hand In Hand We Walk Blind<<
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Mechanical Thought
- Posts: 4432
- Joined: 9/21/2002, 8:23 pm
- Location: Right Behind You
Like many of you have said, I have abused alcohol to make me forget and just let go. It works ... but only for a short period of time.
Last night, I tried to cover up my anxiety by laughing like I had mentioned, and I ended up crying my eyes out for 3 hours. It always happens and I know it ... but the cycle that is my life continues and it won't stop. I'm developing insomnia too, I hardly get any sleep anymore.
Last night, I tried to cover up my anxiety by laughing like I had mentioned, and I ended up crying my eyes out for 3 hours. It always happens and I know it ... but the cycle that is my life continues and it won't stop. I'm developing insomnia too, I hardly get any sleep anymore.
Without you I'm as good as
dead ...
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Mechanical Thought
- Posts: 4432
- Joined: 9/21/2002, 8:23 pm
- Location: Right Behind You
Cass wrote:put on a happy face so people can't see the real me. Anyone else do that?
Every damned day.
That makes three of us.
(sorry for the double post)
Without you I'm as good as
dead ...
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Random Name
- Posts: 10134
- Joined: 8/16/2003, 2:57 pm
- Location: New Finland
The truth is, I don't really deal. I have a lot of shit going on in my life that I absolutely hate dealing with and so to cope, I shove all my emotions and feelings into a little bottle and close it off. 
Works well so far!!! ...well thats not true at all. But I hate the idea of being dependant on others for anything, so I close off most relationships. I read books but I find that any issue I read about is so fictional and fake that I can't take it. Their solutions are as unrealistic as their conflicts so I can't stand reading most books that try to stay in reality. Music helps a lot like other people have said. Why do you think I am here on the OLP board? I mostly I keep to myself and my headphones when I have issues to deal with. I try to write as much as possible which it very theriputic, but the problems don't go away once they are all on paper. Which brings me back to my bottle that I shove things in.
I really should do something about it...
Works well so far!!! ...well thats not true at all. But I hate the idea of being dependant on others for anything, so I close off most relationships. I read books but I find that any issue I read about is so fictional and fake that I can't take it. Their solutions are as unrealistic as their conflicts so I can't stand reading most books that try to stay in reality. Music helps a lot like other people have said. Why do you think I am here on the OLP board? I mostly I keep to myself and my headphones when I have issues to deal with. I try to write as much as possible which it very theriputic, but the problems don't go away once they are all on paper. Which brings me back to my bottle that I shove things in.
I really should do something about it...
-Sarah
Goodbye you liar,
Well you sipped from the cup but you don't own up to anything
Then you think you will inspire
Take apart your head
(and I wish I could inspire)
Take apart your demons, then you add it to the list.
Goodbye you liar,
Well you sipped from the cup but you don't own up to anything
Then you think you will inspire
Take apart your head
(and I wish I could inspire)
Take apart your demons, then you add it to the list.
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Mechanical Thought
- Posts: 4432
- Joined: 9/21/2002, 8:23 pm
- Location: Right Behind You
Random Name wrote: But I hate the idea of being dependant on others for anything, so I close off most relationships.
Same goes for me. I can't really let anyone inside, or know how I'm feeling because I'm afraid I'll get hurt.
Without you I'm as good as
dead ...
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xoNoDoubt69
- Posts: 15117
- Joined: 11/26/2002, 7:35 am
- Location: new jersey
- Contact:
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Henrietta
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Mechanical Thought
- Posts: 4432
- Joined: 9/21/2002, 8:23 pm
- Location: Right Behind You
I do, actually. The only person I really have to confide in is one of my friends, and she's been through so much already, that I don't want to burden her, or bring up old wounds.
Without you I'm as good as
dead ...
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ihatethunderbay
- Posts: 2244
- Joined: 5/24/2003, 6:05 pm
- Location: Somewhere between Winnipeg and Toronto
I don't have a hell of a lot to deal with, other than those goddamn jerks at school. I fucking wish I had a gun.. Target practice!
...Ahem... Anyway.. Music, mainly, for obvious reasons, same as everyone else. Video games are another one. I can be strong, fast, and damn cool looking in a video game. Writing. I can make up any damned thing I want. I love it. And Roleplaying. Chat based, mainly. I like how anonymous you can be. Nobody has to know who the person at the keys is. All they know is their character is a lvl 16 Fighter who can deal 1000 freakin' damage a round. Maybe a slight exaggeration there, but it's all good.
I can't talk to people about stuff. I feel stupid talking to them about regular everyday stuff, so I'd never be able to just dump out what I'm feeling in a face-to-face situation.
I love the internet.
...Ahem... Anyway.. Music, mainly, for obvious reasons, same as everyone else. Video games are another one. I can be strong, fast, and damn cool looking in a video game. Writing. I can make up any damned thing I want. I love it. And Roleplaying. Chat based, mainly. I like how anonymous you can be. Nobody has to know who the person at the keys is. All they know is their character is a lvl 16 Fighter who can deal 1000 freakin' damage a round. Maybe a slight exaggeration there, but it's all good.
I can't talk to people about stuff. I feel stupid talking to them about regular everyday stuff, so I'd never be able to just dump out what I'm feeling in a face-to-face situation.
I love the internet.
hating thunder bay since 2003
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Candy-coated Fake
- Posts: 906
- Joined: 6/5/2003, 9:59 pm
- Location: Winnipeg...hotspot for all suburbia wiggers!
- Contact:
Just for my own satisfaction, I'll say what I do:
1) Listen to music...non-stop.
2) Write poetry that no one really seems to like.
3) Play the tenor sax, though my oboe also tends to make me feel better. I don't have that type of a bond yet with my guitar, probably because I still suck ass at it.
4) Read.
5) May sound stupid, but I'm doing this thing now where I concentrate all of my sadness into a ring I wear around my neck. It can work sometimes.
1) Listen to music...non-stop.
2) Write poetry that no one really seems to like.
3) Play the tenor sax, though my oboe also tends to make me feel better. I don't have that type of a bond yet with my guitar, probably because I still suck ass at it.
4) Read.
5) May sound stupid, but I'm doing this thing now where I concentrate all of my sadness into a ring I wear around my neck. It can work sometimes.
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superboots
- Posts: 7771
- Joined: 6/5/2002, 4:53 pm
- Location: 42.3° N 83.8° W (Funkytown)
- Contact:
see, that's why i decided to talk to somebody about my problems. Because they weren't going away, and I felt like I was overburdening rob, alan, alex, and everybody else who listens to my problems.
and it's good to talk to somebody who is completely unbiased. Somebody who doesn't know your friends or your family or anybody, except you.
I highly stress that people take advantage of their counseling service if they go to college or university. It's free, and you have nothing to lose.
and it's good to talk to somebody who is completely unbiased. Somebody who doesn't know your friends or your family or anybody, except you.
I highly stress that people take advantage of their counseling service if they go to college or university. It's free, and you have nothing to lose.
HARDCORE!!!
OMG. I can't believe I din't think fo you
until now because when I think on
a scale of one to ten you're like YWELVE.
No, seriously?
I <3 my HLP!!!!!
OMG. I can't believe I din't think fo you
until now because when I think on
a scale of one to ten you're like YWELVE.
No, seriously?
I <3 my HLP!!!!!